My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
