i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Randomize
