he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Boobs are out for the taking
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
And then he peed in my hair
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