i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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