i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
The beer is more important than you right now.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Randomize
