I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize
