Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize
