Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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