all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
