I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
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