the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I think I sprained my soul last night
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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