You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
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