I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I love you. Go after that dick
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
