you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
he was CRYING into my vagina
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize
