I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
