I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Randomize
