something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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