Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
