Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
