I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Randomize
