Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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