Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
