Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
