epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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