New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize