D3 body, D1 cock
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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