Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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