but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
