if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
