but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
This is my gift to your gina
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
