my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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