I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Randomize
