Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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