could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize