Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
