i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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