party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
