what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
