How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
