Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
