I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
it's great music for shaving your balls
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize