garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
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