I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
