i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize