i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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