do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
