Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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