I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
