thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
