it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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