i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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