I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Randomize
