she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
