i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
