Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Randomize
