You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Randomize
