The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
