therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Randomize
