He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
