i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
