That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize