Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
