How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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