In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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