Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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